Sunday, June 21, 2009
SWINGER LIFESTYLE
A swinger lifestyle is free from a world of frustration and lost loves. The swinger’s lifestyle simply gives and receive pleasure, but there are a few important points to remember if you are to enter a swinger lifestyle:
No one should swing unless they really want to.
No one should ever go into a swinging life style if they are at all uncertain of their own wishes or of the strength of their emotional relationship with their partner.
Swinger's life style is based upon communication more then any other factors. Couples involved in swinger’s lifestyle should have the ability to talk openly about there feelings with one another. Learning to do this must precede any decision or discussion of entering the life style.
Common Types of Swinger Lifestyle :
Soft swinging – This is involves in watching another couple during sexual relations. It may also include foreplay with other partners, sometimes including oral sex, but no vaginal penetration will takes places. Soft swinging can add spice to a couple’s relationship and allowing them to have fun without the risk of jealously. Many couples start off with soft swinging as this is a good way to explore a swinger's life style.
Closed swinging – This is where partner swap, but have sexual intercourse in separate rooms. Closed swinging allows couples and individual for a more intimate experience. Many people feel this allows them more freedom to explore with fewer interruptions of their enjoyment.
Open swinging – This kind of swinging allows partners to swap and have sexual intercourse in the same room, or bed. This includes orgies and it is great for exhibitionist and voyeurs, who can show off or just enjoy watching their partner play. Many swingers find open swinging allows for total release of their sexual desires and fantasies. An open swinging is successful when all members in the group demonstrate no jealousy.
When you enter a swinger life style you must be very health conscious. Always practice safe sex and make sure you and your partner are disease free. Many swingers would say they practice safe sex, but they probably don’t. So some kinds of health risks always exist. It is up to you to make your own judgment.
More and more people are getting into swinger life style as this give couples and individuals a break for the senseless tension and demanding stress in their daily life. Refreshing sex is the best antidote to relieve stress. A swinger lifestyle teaches you to give and take pleasure like the way you have never experience before. Online swinger clubs helps you to get in touch and later get in bed with people who are from different regions, locales or even nations. It makes you aware of a whole new culture and the many different ways to make love. When you experience a swinger’s life style you would enjoy the power of a touch, the romance of a kiss, the meaning of fondles and the excitement of a caress.
No one should swing unless they really want to.
No one should ever go into a swinging life style if they are at all uncertain of their own wishes or of the strength of their emotional relationship with their partner.
Swinger's life style is based upon communication more then any other factors. Couples involved in swinger’s lifestyle should have the ability to talk openly about there feelings with one another. Learning to do this must precede any decision or discussion of entering the life style.
Common Types of Swinger Lifestyle :
Soft swinging – This is involves in watching another couple during sexual relations. It may also include foreplay with other partners, sometimes including oral sex, but no vaginal penetration will takes places. Soft swinging can add spice to a couple’s relationship and allowing them to have fun without the risk of jealously. Many couples start off with soft swinging as this is a good way to explore a swinger's life style.
Closed swinging – This is where partner swap, but have sexual intercourse in separate rooms. Closed swinging allows couples and individual for a more intimate experience. Many people feel this allows them more freedom to explore with fewer interruptions of their enjoyment.
Open swinging – This kind of swinging allows partners to swap and have sexual intercourse in the same room, or bed. This includes orgies and it is great for exhibitionist and voyeurs, who can show off or just enjoy watching their partner play. Many swingers find open swinging allows for total release of their sexual desires and fantasies. An open swinging is successful when all members in the group demonstrate no jealousy.
When you enter a swinger life style you must be very health conscious. Always practice safe sex and make sure you and your partner are disease free. Many swingers would say they practice safe sex, but they probably don’t. So some kinds of health risks always exist. It is up to you to make your own judgment.
More and more people are getting into swinger life style as this give couples and individuals a break for the senseless tension and demanding stress in their daily life. Refreshing sex is the best antidote to relieve stress. A swinger lifestyle teaches you to give and take pleasure like the way you have never experience before. Online swinger clubs helps you to get in touch and later get in bed with people who are from different regions, locales or even nations. It makes you aware of a whole new culture and the many different ways to make love. When you experience a swinger’s life style you would enjoy the power of a touch, the romance of a kiss, the meaning of fondles and the excitement of a caress.
Saturday, June 20, 2009
HOW TO MAKE LOVE
How to make Love?
Making love is a sexual activity that expresses the love, passion, care and other strong feelings you have for another person. It is a beautiful and emotional experience that can bring two people closer and closer together. Lovemaking should be a time when you and your partner both feel relaxed, secure and happy. Though this may be true, many people stress out when the thought of making love comes to mind because they are trying so hard to figure out what the right way to make love is. Is there is a �Right� way? Read the following information and find out what makes lovemaking great and unforgettable:
Get in touch with Yourself. Before taking that step to make love, it is important that you get in touch with yourself first. What is the status of your self-esteem? Having a high and healthy self-esteem makes a big difference in your lovemaking performances. If there is something about yourself that makes you insecure, set a goal on conquering that insecurity. Keep working on it until you feel the security you feel comfortable and happy with.
Practice with your Fantasies. No one knows what makes you satisfied more than you. Most people never get the passion they truly desire for the simple reason that they are to afraid and shy to introduce their fantasies to the bedroom. Pay attention to the fantasies you produce and replay them over and over again until you feel strong and confident enough to really act them out with your lover.
Explore & Touch. Good and unforgettable lovemaking does not magically happen by itself. It requires effort and exploration. If you and your partner agreed to be intimate and are experiencing sexual activity together, then there is no need to fear from exploring each other�s bodies. Take your time to admire and touch the details of your partner�s body. Intimate touching makes a bigger difference than most people think. Observing your partner�s body will grow your appreciation for him or her, as well as arouse you more. He or she will also feel pleasure and special, which is always good!
Talk about it. Talking about your intimacy with you partner may make you feel embarrassed or silly, but it is something to seriously consider if you are not getting what you need and want behind those bedroom doors. If you do not talk about, your frustration will only increase until you longer feel any desire to make love to your partner. The two of you feel secure enough to see each other naked, so having a conversation about it should not have to be an issue. Even if you are overall satisfied with your lovemaking routines, talking about it still does good to your relationship because you will acknowledge each other�s great lovemaking skills, appreciate each other, and draw you closer together.
Warm up First. Exercise always requires a good warm in order to get better results. The same goes for making love. You should never just jump into it because it shows the lower value you put on the intimate time you share with your partner. Sure, there are times you will want to be spontaneous and just go for it, but even then, you cannot just demand it and take it. Add some romantic ingredients to your lovemaking course. Examples would be, going out to your favorite romantic restaurant, watching a sunset on the beach, watching a movie you both enjoy, giving each other a massage, taking a warm bubble bath together and so on. Find out what works best for you!
Flirt with each other! Couples who have been together for a while no longer feel the need to flirt with one another. They feel it is something people do when they are single and trying to score with someone. Flirting is even better when you are in a relationship. You both know each other and feel secure, making you more comfortable to say whatever is on your mind. So go ahead and flirt with your partner and tease him or her into the bedroom!
Making love is a sexual activity that expresses the love, passion, care and other strong feelings you have for another person. It is a beautiful and emotional experience that can bring two people closer and closer together. Lovemaking should be a time when you and your partner both feel relaxed, secure and happy. Though this may be true, many people stress out when the thought of making love comes to mind because they are trying so hard to figure out what the right way to make love is. Is there is a �Right� way? Read the following information and find out what makes lovemaking great and unforgettable:
Get in touch with Yourself. Before taking that step to make love, it is important that you get in touch with yourself first. What is the status of your self-esteem? Having a high and healthy self-esteem makes a big difference in your lovemaking performances. If there is something about yourself that makes you insecure, set a goal on conquering that insecurity. Keep working on it until you feel the security you feel comfortable and happy with.
Practice with your Fantasies. No one knows what makes you satisfied more than you. Most people never get the passion they truly desire for the simple reason that they are to afraid and shy to introduce their fantasies to the bedroom. Pay attention to the fantasies you produce and replay them over and over again until you feel strong and confident enough to really act them out with your lover.
Explore & Touch. Good and unforgettable lovemaking does not magically happen by itself. It requires effort and exploration. If you and your partner agreed to be intimate and are experiencing sexual activity together, then there is no need to fear from exploring each other�s bodies. Take your time to admire and touch the details of your partner�s body. Intimate touching makes a bigger difference than most people think. Observing your partner�s body will grow your appreciation for him or her, as well as arouse you more. He or she will also feel pleasure and special, which is always good!
Talk about it. Talking about your intimacy with you partner may make you feel embarrassed or silly, but it is something to seriously consider if you are not getting what you need and want behind those bedroom doors. If you do not talk about, your frustration will only increase until you longer feel any desire to make love to your partner. The two of you feel secure enough to see each other naked, so having a conversation about it should not have to be an issue. Even if you are overall satisfied with your lovemaking routines, talking about it still does good to your relationship because you will acknowledge each other�s great lovemaking skills, appreciate each other, and draw you closer together.
Warm up First. Exercise always requires a good warm in order to get better results. The same goes for making love. You should never just jump into it because it shows the lower value you put on the intimate time you share with your partner. Sure, there are times you will want to be spontaneous and just go for it, but even then, you cannot just demand it and take it. Add some romantic ingredients to your lovemaking course. Examples would be, going out to your favorite romantic restaurant, watching a sunset on the beach, watching a movie you both enjoy, giving each other a massage, taking a warm bubble bath together and so on. Find out what works best for you!
Flirt with each other! Couples who have been together for a while no longer feel the need to flirt with one another. They feel it is something people do when they are single and trying to score with someone. Flirting is even better when you are in a relationship. You both know each other and feel secure, making you more comfortable to say whatever is on your mind. So go ahead and flirt with your partner and tease him or her into the bedroom!
PRECAUTIONS FOR GREATER SEX SAFETY
Precautions for greater safety
Penetrative vaginal sex - a condom should be put on before any genital contact, especially if the woman isn't using additional, reliable birth control. There are enough live sperm and germs at the tip of an erect penis to cause pregnancy or infection without penetration or ejaculation.
Penetrative anal sex - use a non-spermicidally-lubricated condom with extra water-based or silicone lubricant at all times. It's useful to wear an extra-strong condom, but more important to use sufficient lubrication, without which the condom is more likely to burst. Never move from anal to vaginal sex without changing the condom. If there's no spare condom handy, move from the vagina to the anus.
Foreplay - cover cuts, sores and other skin lesions on fingers with waterproof plasters or latex gloves, particularly during a menstrual period or if anal foreplay is involved. If you don't have latex gloves to hand, it's safer to use a non-spermicidally-lubricated condom over one or two fingers than bare hands. If you're not using protection and you're going to move on to vaginal foreplay, it's vital to wash your hands after anal foreplay.
Sex toys - if you're sharing toys, use the same level of protection as for penetrative sex. Wash toys thoroughly between partners. Keep whips, chains and other articles used during S&M (sadomasochistic) fetish foreplay for personal use, particularly if you draw blood (or body fluids containing blood) during use.
Masturbation - there's no risk of infection if you're alone and using unshared items, unless a disease from one part of the body infects another through poor hygiene technique. An unwashed finger, for example, can spread genital gonorrhoea or chlamydia to the eye. During masturbation with a partner, follow the guidelines for foreplay.
SEX PRAISE
S.E.X., is here to save the day! S.E.X. is an articulate, comprehensive, and just plain fun resource on all things sex. Covering topics ranging from sexuality to relationships to safer sex (and every step in between), Corinna deftly presents each issue with a refreshingly straightforward, accurate, and honest approach....S.E.X. sets out to empower young adults to make healthy, informed decisions about their sexuality and begins with a wonderful challenge: “I want you to choose to create a healthy, happy and fulfilling sexual life that is fantastic for you and for everyone else in it.” This challenge is at the heart of every chapter... While S.E.X. is aimed primarily at adolescents and young adults, it has a lot to offer for any adults with teenagers in their lives—or with questions of their own! S.E.X. addresses the potential awkwardness of talking with a teenager about sexuality and suggests multiple ways to open up communication; plus it’s a great way to brush up on your own knowledge surrounding sexuality and become another source of good information.
Chapter after chapter, Corinna reaffirms that her goal is for her readers to make informed, healthy choices that best suit their lives. She sets them up to do just that by framing each chapter—and the book as a whole—from a holistic view that acknowledges that things like body image, health, relationships, and support networks all play a role in sexual health. With S.E.X., Corinna has created an exceptional book that levels with young adults and provides the comprehensive information and resources necessary for making informed choiced
"S.E.X. is a positive and informative all-embracing guide to sexuality by a dedicated author. Heather Corinna challenges adolescents and young adults alike to be proactive in owning their sexuality by being true to themselves, all the while laying the foundation of knowledge and acceptance key factors for the development of a healthy sexuality.
"We thought we were liberated and informed, but Heather Corinna puts us to shame. In S.E.X. You get answers to everything you were afraid, embarrassed or didn't know to ask.
Friday, June 19, 2009
SITTING AND KNEELING POSITION
Sitting and kneeling positions -
are probably a novelty more than anything else for most people. They never feature in the lists of people's top ten favorite positions - one survey showed they were used less than once in every fifty times a couple have sex. This may be because they're just not very enjoyable, difficult to get into, or simply not very satisfying physically. Their biggest advantage must lie in the fact that they're so unusual and it's different and exciting to try them out. Having said that, sitting positions can be good for a couple who lack flexibility and who therefore want to make love in a chair rather than on the bed.
are probably a novelty more than anything else for most people. They never feature in the lists of people's top ten favorite positions - one survey showed they were used less than once in every fifty times a couple have sex. This may be because they're just not very enjoyable, difficult to get into, or simply not very satisfying physically. Their biggest advantage must lie in the fact that they're so unusual and it's different and exciting to try them out. Having said that, sitting positions can be good for a couple who lack flexibility and who therefore want to make love in a chair rather than on the bed.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
हाउ तो मके फर्स्ट टाइम सेक्स अ फबुलोउस SEX
The ultimate bedside companion-packed with erotic yet practical tips for men and women
Practical, down-to-earth, explicit and fun, Hot Sex is the must-have sex and relationships book for every man and woman.
It's perfect bedtime reading for two, an easy-to-follow handbook that cuts straight to the nitty-gritty to deliver candid advice with a healthy dose of humor. Packed with tips and techniques that work, Hot Sex includes everything from a blow-by-blow, step-by-step guide to oral sex to finding (and figuring out) your G-spot.
Whether you're a beginner or an old hand, get into Hot Sex-the only how-to that really tells you how to do it!
Inside, there are tips on:
Foreplay: Not just the appetizer, it can be the main course (and dessert) as well!Orgasm: The 30 (if you're lucky) seconds we go to so-o-o-o much effort forPerformance Problems: Some of the reasons sex goes wrong and how to get it lustily back on trackEveryday Couples, Exceptional Sex: I'm sorry, did you say monogamy or monotony?
Anyone can be good in bed. Genital size doesn't matter. Looks don't matter. You don't have to have legs up to your chin, arms like Schwarzenegger, drive a sports car, or be rolling in it to be the best lover your partner's ever had. But you do need a good, working knowledge of your subject. And that's easier said than done.
Nearly everyone talks about sex. We're always boasting about how fabulous so-and-so is in bed and hinting at the real reason why we look so tired at work (nudge, nudge, wink, wink). But it's a rare person who'll confess details or talk specifics. Jane might well confide that Brad gives the best oral sex she's ever had, but she doesn't launch into a lick-by-lick analysis of why-and I bet you don't ask for one.
That's why we buy sex books-to find out the nitty-gritty details about things we're too embarrassed to ask friends or lovers. Trouble is, few deliver what we really want to know. Sex manuals tend to gloss over the practical bread-and-butter stuff and, instead, talk in generalities-like how women need clitoral stimulation and men's butts are a veritable hot spot. Great advice but, if you haven't got the foggiest of what to do with it, useless.
This is where Hot Sex is different. Instead of assuming you know everything, I've assumed you know nothing and have dished up all the gory details in an easy-to-follow, step-by-step format. The only way I could have been more explicit and specific is to be there in the bedroom with you, guiding your hands and whatever else you're using (and, to tell the truth, I'd really rather not).
That's not to say the book only deals with the basics. Experienced lovers will get loads out of Hot Sex because there are enough advanced tips, tricks, and techniques to keep even Annie Sprinkle happy. But I do suggest everyone read the introductory chapters. Very often it's the people who think they know what they're doing who need educating the most. Sex is a bit like typing. You can get by using two fingers, but you'll never be as good as someone who did the secretarial course and practiced every night. Going back to the grassroots level, even if it's just to check you're on the right track, isn't a bad idea for all of us. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise: sex skills can be learned and we can all improve on them.
I've written the book using everyday language for similar reasons. The correct, technical terms sound terribly authoritative but if you don't know that a wet dream is actually called a nocturnal emission, you wouldn't have a clue what I was talking about if I used this term. Sometimes, the words I use aren't even accurate. Most people say sperm when they actually mean semen, for instance. But, hey, if that's what you call it, that's what I've called it a lot of the time because I want you to relate to what I'm saying.
I'm also guilty of making some broad generalizations about sex. Hopefully, there aren't too many, but if you read something that you personally don't agree with, forgive me. If I covered every single individual preference, research finding, exception, and extreme, I'd still be madly typing
Hot Sex is designed to be read cover to cover but it is equally useful if you dip into it for inspiration when the mood strikes. Because good sex is only possible if both the people having it are committed to making it great, I've included guides for him and her wherever possible. Hot Sex isn't ageist either. There's info on all the different stages of our sexual lives: everything from first-time masturbation and losing your virginity to having sex when you're pregnant and taking the monotony out of monogamy. Add hints on ditching those inhibitions, tips on building effective communication skills, and loads of relationship advice, and you really can't help but shred the sheets!
Practical, down-to-earth, explicit and fun, Hot Sex is the must-have sex and relationships book for every man and woman.
It's perfect bedtime reading for two, an easy-to-follow handbook that cuts straight to the nitty-gritty to deliver candid advice with a healthy dose of humor. Packed with tips and techniques that work, Hot Sex includes everything from a blow-by-blow, step-by-step guide to oral sex to finding (and figuring out) your G-spot.
Whether you're a beginner or an old hand, get into Hot Sex-the only how-to that really tells you how to do it!
Inside, there are tips on:
Foreplay: Not just the appetizer, it can be the main course (and dessert) as well!Orgasm: The 30 (if you're lucky) seconds we go to so-o-o-o much effort forPerformance Problems: Some of the reasons sex goes wrong and how to get it lustily back on trackEveryday Couples, Exceptional Sex: I'm sorry, did you say monogamy or monotony?
Anyone can be good in bed. Genital size doesn't matter. Looks don't matter. You don't have to have legs up to your chin, arms like Schwarzenegger, drive a sports car, or be rolling in it to be the best lover your partner's ever had. But you do need a good, working knowledge of your subject. And that's easier said than done.
Nearly everyone talks about sex. We're always boasting about how fabulous so-and-so is in bed and hinting at the real reason why we look so tired at work (nudge, nudge, wink, wink). But it's a rare person who'll confess details or talk specifics. Jane might well confide that Brad gives the best oral sex she's ever had, but she doesn't launch into a lick-by-lick analysis of why-and I bet you don't ask for one.
That's why we buy sex books-to find out the nitty-gritty details about things we're too embarrassed to ask friends or lovers. Trouble is, few deliver what we really want to know. Sex manuals tend to gloss over the practical bread-and-butter stuff and, instead, talk in generalities-like how women need clitoral stimulation and men's butts are a veritable hot spot. Great advice but, if you haven't got the foggiest of what to do with it, useless.
This is where Hot Sex is different. Instead of assuming you know everything, I've assumed you know nothing and have dished up all the gory details in an easy-to-follow, step-by-step format. The only way I could have been more explicit and specific is to be there in the bedroom with you, guiding your hands and whatever else you're using (and, to tell the truth, I'd really rather not).
That's not to say the book only deals with the basics. Experienced lovers will get loads out of Hot Sex because there are enough advanced tips, tricks, and techniques to keep even Annie Sprinkle happy. But I do suggest everyone read the introductory chapters. Very often it's the people who think they know what they're doing who need educating the most. Sex is a bit like typing. You can get by using two fingers, but you'll never be as good as someone who did the secretarial course and practiced every night. Going back to the grassroots level, even if it's just to check you're on the right track, isn't a bad idea for all of us. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise: sex skills can be learned and we can all improve on them.
I've written the book using everyday language for similar reasons. The correct, technical terms sound terribly authoritative but if you don't know that a wet dream is actually called a nocturnal emission, you wouldn't have a clue what I was talking about if I used this term. Sometimes, the words I use aren't even accurate. Most people say sperm when they actually mean semen, for instance. But, hey, if that's what you call it, that's what I've called it a lot of the time because I want you to relate to what I'm saying.
I'm also guilty of making some broad generalizations about sex. Hopefully, there aren't too many, but if you read something that you personally don't agree with, forgive me. If I covered every single individual preference, research finding, exception, and extreme, I'd still be madly typing
Hot Sex is designed to be read cover to cover but it is equally useful if you dip into it for inspiration when the mood strikes. Because good sex is only possible if both the people having it are committed to making it great, I've included guides for him and her wherever possible. Hot Sex isn't ageist either. There's info on all the different stages of our sexual lives: everything from first-time masturbation and losing your virginity to having sex when you're pregnant and taking the monotony out of monogamy. Add hints on ditching those inhibitions, tips on building effective communication skills, and loads of relationship advice, and you really can't help but shred the sheets!
Friday, June 12, 2009
WAYS TO KEEP SEX EXCITING
Bring sensuous food into the bedroom
Try different locations--in nature, in the kitchen, the bath.
Keep the romance alive with music, candles, flower pedals on the bed
Flirt with her all night, whisper in her ear all the things you're going to do to her later. She'll be so worked up by the time you get to the bedroom, she'll probably burst.
Don't just focus on the orgasm. Just as there's a lot more to softball than hitting a home run, there's a lot more to sex than coming. Spend time on her whole body. See how long you can go without orgasming.
Try different toys like dildos and vibrators. Sex toys can turn a dull night into something fun.
Don't let your insecurity get in the way. You saw how letting loose and getting loud turned her on, imagine if you take control one night and run the show.
Don't fall into predictable patterns. I touch you here, you touch me there, I do you, you do me gets old pretty quick. Add variety, switch things up.
Sex is a two-way street. It's give and take, communication and sharing. A successful sex life demands that both of you put effort in
Most importantly, make a commitment to having a great sex life. Be committed to learning new things, trying new things and discussing what you do and don't like. Be bold?
Try different locations--in nature, in the kitchen, the bath.
Keep the romance alive with music, candles, flower pedals on the bed
Flirt with her all night, whisper in her ear all the things you're going to do to her later. She'll be so worked up by the time you get to the bedroom, she'll probably burst.
Don't just focus on the orgasm. Just as there's a lot more to softball than hitting a home run, there's a lot more to sex than coming. Spend time on her whole body. See how long you can go without orgasming.
Try different toys like dildos and vibrators. Sex toys can turn a dull night into something fun.
Don't let your insecurity get in the way. You saw how letting loose and getting loud turned her on, imagine if you take control one night and run the show.
Don't fall into predictable patterns. I touch you here, you touch me there, I do you, you do me gets old pretty quick. Add variety, switch things up.
Sex is a two-way street. It's give and take, communication and sharing. A successful sex life demands that both of you put effort in
Most importantly, make a commitment to having a great sex life. Be committed to learning new things, trying new things and discussing what you do and don't like. Be bold?
10 TIPS TO MAKE SEX
Take things slowlySavor this moment. While you may be a little too tired to have the most technically excellent sex of your lives, this is likely to be among your most romantic and intimate sexual experiences.
Lower your expectationsSo this may not be the most amazing sex you've ever had. So what? Try to just enjoy whatever happens.
Read some sex booksWho couldn't use a little advice from the experts?
Talk to each otherSpend some time relaxing, talking about the wedding, and about your love for each other. Let things get romantic and sappy. The sex that follows will be intimate and amazing.
Expand your idea of the "wedding night"If you're too tired for foreplay, that sex isn't going to be so great. Couldn't it be better to wait until the morning?
Flirt with each other during the wedding It can be easy to spend the whole wedding greeting Aunt Sally and Cousin Bob, cutting the cake, and attending to a thousand other details. Don't forget to stop, stare into each other's eyes, share a few extra kisses, and flirt with each other. It will also help build the excitement for your alone time later.
Don't have sex with each other for a couple of weeks before the weddingMany couples try this to make the wedding night sex fresh and new again. Others go even further by giving up sex months before the wedding so that they may be virgin-like on the wedding night.
Try something new Perhaps there's been something you've been wanting to try? Your wedding night can be a fun night to experiment,
Wear something special Wedding night lingerie can really help the mood. Pick something a little different than what you usually wear to excite your partner. Make sure you feel confident in it, as a confident lover is almost always a better lover.
Set the stage Help yourselves get into the mood by setting the stage. Light some candles, bring some CDs and a radio, scatter rosepetals, or do whatever helps you get in the mood. And don't be afraid to kick friends and family out early. While they may tease you a little, they'll certainly understand! It's also a good idea to accept the fact that you may be too exhausted or tipsy to have sex. If one of you falls asleep, or isn't in the mood, remember, it's not a prediction
Lower your expectationsSo this may not be the most amazing sex you've ever had. So what? Try to just enjoy whatever happens.
Read some sex booksWho couldn't use a little advice from the experts?
Talk to each otherSpend some time relaxing, talking about the wedding, and about your love for each other. Let things get romantic and sappy. The sex that follows will be intimate and amazing.
Expand your idea of the "wedding night"If you're too tired for foreplay, that sex isn't going to be so great. Couldn't it be better to wait until the morning?
Flirt with each other during the wedding It can be easy to spend the whole wedding greeting Aunt Sally and Cousin Bob, cutting the cake, and attending to a thousand other details. Don't forget to stop, stare into each other's eyes, share a few extra kisses, and flirt with each other. It will also help build the excitement for your alone time later.
Don't have sex with each other for a couple of weeks before the weddingMany couples try this to make the wedding night sex fresh and new again. Others go even further by giving up sex months before the wedding so that they may be virgin-like on the wedding night.
Try something new Perhaps there's been something you've been wanting to try? Your wedding night can be a fun night to experiment,
Wear something special Wedding night lingerie can really help the mood. Pick something a little different than what you usually wear to excite your partner. Make sure you feel confident in it, as a confident lover is almost always a better lover.
Set the stage Help yourselves get into the mood by setting the stage. Light some candles, bring some CDs and a radio, scatter rosepetals, or do whatever helps you get in the mood. And don't be afraid to kick friends and family out early. While they may tease you a little, they'll certainly understand! It's also a good idea to accept the fact that you may be too exhausted or tipsy to have sex. If one of you falls asleep, or isn't in the mood, remember, it's not a prediction
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
WHY YOU WILL LOVE IT
Tell your partner to lie back, propping up his head and shoulders with a pillow, and have him spread his legs slightly. While you're facing the same direction — your back is to his face — lower yourself onto his hardened penis. Put your feet between his legs on the floor or the bed. Take your right hand and place it on his right hip bone and your left hand on the bed next to his left hip bone. Use your hands and feet to move your body up and down on his shaft.
WHY YOU'LL LOVE IT:The movement of your seat is the key to the Love Seat. With both your hands and feet controlling your motion, ride your behind up and down at a pace that feels best. While you're doing all the work, give your man's hands a pleasure project and have him massage your butt, back, neck, and other sexy spots he doesn't always have access to.
Feeling but not seeing your partner lets you experiment with a fantasy or two. Give yourself momentary permission to pretend he's Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise, or a total stranger. A Cosmo word of caution: Just be sure you're calling out the right guy's name!
WHY YOU'LL LOVE IT:The movement of your seat is the key to the Love Seat. With both your hands and feet controlling your motion, ride your behind up and down at a pace that feels best. While you're doing all the work, give your man's hands a pleasure project and have him massage your butt, back, neck, and other sexy spots he doesn't always have access to.
Feeling but not seeing your partner lets you experiment with a fantasy or two. Give yourself momentary permission to pretend he's Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise, or a total stranger. A Cosmo word of caution: Just be sure you're calling out the right guy's name!
THE GREAT SEX POSITION
When it comes to sex positions, after a while it's only natural to fall back on your old favourites. And there's nothing really wrong with that, except that, well, it's kind of dull. So mix things up! Experiment! Surprise your guy with something unexpected!
Digging Deep sex position
We're most familiar with man-on-top positions. They're great for gazing lustily into each other's eyes. And as an added bonus, they're terrific for deep penetration. For fans of deep, intense penetration and enthusiastic thrusting, you can't beat this position.
With this variation, the top half of your body can't move much, but you can make up for it by moving your pelvis both up and down and side to side.
First, lie back on the bed with your torso and bottom on the bed and your legs resting on the floor. When he penetrates, you bend your knees back toward your stomach while he supports himself on his hands and thrusts forward. It's best for him to keep one of his legs on the floor for support and the other on the bed for balance.
If it still doesn't feel like he's penetrated deeply enough - you greedy girl - pull your knees even further back and rest your calves on his shoulders, or, heck, show off by demonstrating just how handy that Pilates class really was by crossing your ankles behind his neck. Add extra frisson by holding your own hands above your head to give the illusion you're tied up. Better still, get him to actually do it!
The Sex Squat sex position
Urgent, animal and aggressive, rear-entry positions are used by most couples when they're both massively turned on. He can thrust more powerfully here than in any other position, and while some women flinch at the thought (Ouch! You just hit my cervix!), most are huge fans.
Because you can't see each other, it's great for fantasising (being unfaithful is obviously much better in your head than actually in your bed). And although it looks energetic, you can respond as little or as much as you like.
Up the lust level by doing it in front of a mirror, or vary it by alternating between leaning forward on your forearms and sitting up straight, leaning back and letting him kiss your neck.
For my new twist on that old favourite, you'll need a chair, and it's important that it's sturdy. If you can, secure it against something or put it near a table or window ledge (a good idea, maybe, to draw the curtains while you're there), which he can grab onto to keep things steady.
Once that's set up, you stand on the chair facing away from him, then get in a squatting position with your hands on the back of the chair for support. He puts his hands on your waist or clasps the top of your thighs and penetrates gently.
It may help if he puts one leg on the chair to keep it steady while leaving the other on the floor. As I said, keep it s-l-o-w. Move your bottom from side to side for a unique, intense sensation.
Digging Deep sex position
We're most familiar with man-on-top positions. They're great for gazing lustily into each other's eyes. And as an added bonus, they're terrific for deep penetration. For fans of deep, intense penetration and enthusiastic thrusting, you can't beat this position.
With this variation, the top half of your body can't move much, but you can make up for it by moving your pelvis both up and down and side to side.
First, lie back on the bed with your torso and bottom on the bed and your legs resting on the floor. When he penetrates, you bend your knees back toward your stomach while he supports himself on his hands and thrusts forward. It's best for him to keep one of his legs on the floor for support and the other on the bed for balance.
If it still doesn't feel like he's penetrated deeply enough - you greedy girl - pull your knees even further back and rest your calves on his shoulders, or, heck, show off by demonstrating just how handy that Pilates class really was by crossing your ankles behind his neck. Add extra frisson by holding your own hands above your head to give the illusion you're tied up. Better still, get him to actually do it!
The Sex Squat sex position
Urgent, animal and aggressive, rear-entry positions are used by most couples when they're both massively turned on. He can thrust more powerfully here than in any other position, and while some women flinch at the thought (Ouch! You just hit my cervix!), most are huge fans.
Because you can't see each other, it's great for fantasising (being unfaithful is obviously much better in your head than actually in your bed). And although it looks energetic, you can respond as little or as much as you like.
Up the lust level by doing it in front of a mirror, or vary it by alternating between leaning forward on your forearms and sitting up straight, leaning back and letting him kiss your neck.
For my new twist on that old favourite, you'll need a chair, and it's important that it's sturdy. If you can, secure it against something or put it near a table or window ledge (a good idea, maybe, to draw the curtains while you're there), which he can grab onto to keep things steady.
Once that's set up, you stand on the chair facing away from him, then get in a squatting position with your hands on the back of the chair for support. He puts his hands on your waist or clasps the top of your thighs and penetrates gently.
It may help if he puts one leg on the chair to keep it steady while leaving the other on the floor. As I said, keep it s-l-o-w. Move your bottom from side to side for a unique, intense sensation.
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
HOW TO MAKE SEX
Make sure she wants it. Do not pressure a woman into being intimate. If she feels like she never has a chance to seduce you, she will begin to resent the pressure. Make her feel wanted, but also give her a chance to be the seductress.
Step 2
Women enjoy the touching and cuddling much more that men seem to. Hold her for awhile. Make her feel safe.
Step 3
If you know your woman is dying be intimate, make her wait a little. Kiss her from head to toe, lick her body.
Step 4
Pay special attention to the neck and ears. The ears in particular are a sensitive erotic spot for most women. Just a little nibbling and blowing.
Step 5
Run your fingers all over her body very gently. Do not lick it like a hound dog though. Gently, gently.
Step 6
Some women like breast fondling and others do not. Do not assume that all women enjoy this. The breasts are a very sensitive area. Focus on this area to some degree, but do not get carried away.
Step 7
You will know when she is ready for intimacy. Be sure to follow her lead. Women are all about emotions. If you can get in touch with her in an emotional sense, you will be surprised at the level of intimacy that can be achieve
Tips & Warnings
Do not rush. It takes time to get this right.
Pay attention to facial expressions.
If she is reading a book or watching tv there is a problem.
Light scented candles, throw rose petals on the bed.
Women love the romance.
Make her feel special. Look into her eyes.
Step 2
Women enjoy the touching and cuddling much more that men seem to. Hold her for awhile. Make her feel safe.
Step 3
If you know your woman is dying be intimate, make her wait a little. Kiss her from head to toe, lick her body.
Step 4
Pay special attention to the neck and ears. The ears in particular are a sensitive erotic spot for most women. Just a little nibbling and blowing.
Step 5
Run your fingers all over her body very gently. Do not lick it like a hound dog though. Gently, gently.
Step 6
Some women like breast fondling and others do not. Do not assume that all women enjoy this. The breasts are a very sensitive area. Focus on this area to some degree, but do not get carried away.
Step 7
You will know when she is ready for intimacy. Be sure to follow her lead. Women are all about emotions. If you can get in touch with her in an emotional sense, you will be surprised at the level of intimacy that can be achieve
Tips & Warnings
Do not rush. It takes time to get this right.
Pay attention to facial expressions.
If she is reading a book or watching tv there is a problem.
Light scented candles, throw rose petals on the bed.
Women love the romance.
Make her feel special. Look into her eyes.
Friday, May 29, 2009
RELATIONS TO SEX AND SEXUALITY
Young people can be exposed to a wide range of attitudes and beliefs in relation to sex and sexuality. These sometimes appear contradictory and confusing. For example, some health messages emphasis the risks and dangers associated with sexual activity and some media coverage promotes the idea that being sexually active makes a person more attractive and mature. Because sex and sexuality are sensitive subjects, young people and sex educators can have strong views on what attitudes people should hold, and what moral framework should govern people's behaviour - these too can sometimes seem to be at odds. Young people are very interested in the moral and cultural frameworks that binds sex and sexuality. They often welcome opportunities to talk about issues where people have strong views, like abortion, sex before marriage, lesbian and gay issues and contraception and birth control. It is important to remember that talking in a balanced way about differences in opinion does not promote one set of views over another, or mean that one agrees with a particular view. Part of exploring and understanding cultural, religious and moral views is finding out that you can agree to disagree.
Attempts to impose narrow moralistic views about sex and sexuality on young people through sex education have failed.
People providing sex education have attitudes and beliefs of their own about sex and sexuality and it is important not to let these influence negatively the sex education that they provide. For example, even if a person believes that young people should not have sex until they are married, this does not imply withholding important information about safer sex and contraception. Attempts to impose narrow moralistic views about sex and sexuality on young people through sex education have failed.11 12 Rather than trying to deter or frighten young people away from having sex, effective sex education includes work on attitudes and beliefs, coupled with skills development, that enables young people to choose whether or not to have a sexual relationship taking into account the potential risks of any sexual activity.
Effective sex education also provides young people with an opportunity to explore the reasons why people have sex, and to think about how it involves emotions, respect for one self and other people and their feelings, decisions and bodies. Young people should have the chance to explore gender differences and how ethnicity and sexuality can influence people's feelings and options.13 14 They should be able to decide for themselves what the positive qualities of relationships are. It is important that they understand how bullying, stereotyping, abuse and exploitation can negatively influence relationships.
Attempts to impose narrow moralistic views about sex and sexuality on young people through sex education have failed.
People providing sex education have attitudes and beliefs of their own about sex and sexuality and it is important not to let these influence negatively the sex education that they provide. For example, even if a person believes that young people should not have sex until they are married, this does not imply withholding important information about safer sex and contraception. Attempts to impose narrow moralistic views about sex and sexuality on young people through sex education have failed.11 12 Rather than trying to deter or frighten young people away from having sex, effective sex education includes work on attitudes and beliefs, coupled with skills development, that enables young people to choose whether or not to have a sexual relationship taking into account the potential risks of any sexual activity.
Effective sex education also provides young people with an opportunity to explore the reasons why people have sex, and to think about how it involves emotions, respect for one self and other people and their feelings, decisions and bodies. Young people should have the chance to explore gender differences and how ethnicity and sexuality can influence people's feelings and options.13 14 They should be able to decide for themselves what the positive qualities of relationships are. It is important that they understand how bullying, stereotyping, abuse and exploitation can negatively influence relationships.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
WHAT SKILLS SHOULD SEX EDUCATION DEVELOP
If sex education is going to be effective it needs to include opportunities for young people to develop skills, as it can be hard for them to act on the basis of only having information.6 7 The skills young people develop as part of sex education are linked to more general life-skills. Being able to communicate, listen, negotiate, ask for and identify sources of help and advice, are useful life-skills and can be applied in terms of sexual relationships. Effective sex education develops young people's skills in negotiation, decision-making, assertion and listening. Other important skills include being able to recognise pressures from other people and to resist them, dealing with and challenging prejudice and being able to seek help from adults - including parents, carers and professionals - through the family, community and health and welfare services. Sex education that works also helps equip young people with the skills to be able to differentiate between accurate and inaccurate information, and to discuss a range of moral and social issues and perspectives on sex and sexuality, including different cultural attitudes and sensitive issues like sexuality, abortion and contraception.
Monday, May 25, 2009
(SEX EDUCATION) ARE YOU GAY,LESBIAN, OR BI-SEXUAL
Sexuality
When you hit puberty, it’s common to start to feel confused about your sexuality. These feelings are completely natural and are tied up with the hormones surging through your body. Only you will know what your sexual preference is but it may take some time for you to work it all out and feel completely sure about it.
So what does it all mean?
Heterosexual (straight): attracted to people of the opposite sex to yourself
Homosexual (gay/lesbian): attracted to people of the same sex as yourself
Bisexual (bi-sexual): attracted to both sexes
Is it normal to feel a certain way?
It’s very normal as a teenager to have a crush on someone of the same sex, but it doesn’t mean you’re gay - it’s all part of growing up.
On the other hand, some teenagers are very sure at an early stage that they are gay. Others may experiment with both boys and girls before working out their feelings. Stay true to yourself and like all other things (for example your developing personality or career choice), things eventually will become clearer with time. It is normal to feel confused but only by being honest with yourself and thinking through your options according to what makes you happy can you discover who you are.Only you will know what your sexual preferences but it may take some time for you to work it all out and feel completely sure about it.
Being gay or bi-sexual is not wrong or unnatural, but simply part of a whole range of sexual lifestyles that people find themselves drawn to. The important thing is that you are happy with yourself, comfortable with your sexuality and respectful of other peoples’ choices.
If you want to talk to someone about being gay, lesbian or bi-sexual,
click
www.danddybayus.s5.com
Who are you attracted to?
Boys? Girls? Both sexes? Are you straight? Are you gay? Are you bisexual? Are you unsure?
If you're confused relax - you're not alone. During puberty, lots of people find themselves wondering who they are attracted to. Gay. Straight. Bi.sexual
Talk about it...
When you hit puberty, it’s common to start to feel confused about your sexuality. These feelings are completely natural and are tied up with the hormones surging through your body. Only you will know what your sexual preference is but it may take some time for you to work it all out and feel completely sure about it.
So what does it all mean?
Heterosexual (straight): attracted to people of the opposite sex to yourself
Homosexual (gay/lesbian): attracted to people of the same sex as yourself
Bisexual (bi-sexual): attracted to both sexes
Is it normal to feel a certain way?
It’s very normal as a teenager to have a crush on someone of the same sex, but it doesn’t mean you’re gay - it’s all part of growing up.
On the other hand, some teenagers are very sure at an early stage that they are gay. Others may experiment with both boys and girls before working out their feelings. Stay true to yourself and like all other things (for example your developing personality or career choice), things eventually will become clearer with time. It is normal to feel confused but only by being honest with yourself and thinking through your options according to what makes you happy can you discover who you are.Only you will know what your sexual preferences but it may take some time for you to work it all out and feel completely sure about it.
Being gay or bi-sexual is not wrong or unnatural, but simply part of a whole range of sexual lifestyles that people find themselves drawn to. The important thing is that you are happy with yourself, comfortable with your sexuality and respectful of other peoples’ choices.
If you want to talk to someone about being gay, lesbian or bi-sexual,
click
www.danddybayus.s5.com
Who are you attracted to?
Boys? Girls? Both sexes? Are you straight? Are you gay? Are you bisexual? Are you unsure?
If you're confused relax - you're not alone. During puberty, lots of people find themselves wondering who they are attracted to. Gay. Straight. Bi.sexual
Talk about it...
Sunday, May 24, 2009
HOW TO MAKE YOUR PENIS EXTEND
If you are dissatisfied or want to experiment with your penis size, one of the natural ways to do it painfully and comfortably is to use a penis extension.
Penis extension is a hollow device placed on a penis to extend its girth and length. You can use this sex toy for various purposes:
to add more thickness and length to your penis
to increase your erection
For additional stimulation
Types of penis extensions
Hollow strap-on dildos and vibrators
These are sex toys that look like a phallus-shaped penis attachment being hollow for inserting penis. You can use these dildos being either erect or not. It allows to sustain longer erection prolonging the intercourse, increases the size of your penis and can be also used by lesbian partners as a strap-on dildo.
Ticklers
Ticklers are sex toys that are phallus-shaped to fit the penis and have a textured surface and additional features for sexual stimulation. Though they fit like a condom, they are not used as a birth control method.
Traditional penis extensions
Penis extension of a more traditional type have a shape similar to a real penis extending penis girth and length for up to 3 inches. These sex toys are put on an erect penis and taken off like a condom.
How to use a penis sleeve
Penis sleeve is very easy in use, giving you plenty of possibilities to please your partner.
Place a penis extension over the head of the penis and roll on over the shaft to fit snuggly. You may apply small amounts of water-based lubricant on the penis for better slide but avoiding the excessive amount to prevent the penis extension from slipping off during the intercourse.
Also use lubricant to apply it on the external surface of the toy. Like with the other sex toys, lubricant is necessary to make penetration smoother and more comfortable.
To take off the penis extension you will need to roll it to the tip and remove.
Penis extensions can be cleaned with special sex toys cleaner or warm water and mild soap. keep in mind that penis sleeve shouldn't be shared and can be used only by one person. For safety reasons you can put on a condom on a penis extension.
Penis extension is a hollow device placed on a penis to extend its girth and length. You can use this sex toy for various purposes:
to add more thickness and length to your penis
to increase your erection
For additional stimulation
Types of penis extensions
Hollow strap-on dildos and vibrators
These are sex toys that look like a phallus-shaped penis attachment being hollow for inserting penis. You can use these dildos being either erect or not. It allows to sustain longer erection prolonging the intercourse, increases the size of your penis and can be also used by lesbian partners as a strap-on dildo.
Ticklers
Ticklers are sex toys that are phallus-shaped to fit the penis and have a textured surface and additional features for sexual stimulation. Though they fit like a condom, they are not used as a birth control method.
Traditional penis extensions
Penis extension of a more traditional type have a shape similar to a real penis extending penis girth and length for up to 3 inches. These sex toys are put on an erect penis and taken off like a condom.
How to use a penis sleeve
Penis sleeve is very easy in use, giving you plenty of possibilities to please your partner.
Place a penis extension over the head of the penis and roll on over the shaft to fit snuggly. You may apply small amounts of water-based lubricant on the penis for better slide but avoiding the excessive amount to prevent the penis extension from slipping off during the intercourse.
Also use lubricant to apply it on the external surface of the toy. Like with the other sex toys, lubricant is necessary to make penetration smoother and more comfortable.
To take off the penis extension you will need to roll it to the tip and remove.
Penis extensions can be cleaned with special sex toys cleaner or warm water and mild soap. keep in mind that penis sleeve shouldn't be shared and can be used only by one person. For safety reasons you can put on a condom on a penis extension.
WAYS TO MAKE SEX REALLY SAFE
Sex is one of the strongest pleasures that can be experienced by a human being. However, sometimes it brings about such sad consequences as unwanted pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases, that, in their turn lead to inflammations, general feeling sick, infertility, premature delivery or pregnancy failures. How to avoid all these troubles?
The answer is evident - sex must be safe. Sex can be really safe if you take measures to avoid pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases.
There are plenty of birth control methods that help to avoid unwanted pregnancy, and there is only one way to avoid unwanted pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases - this is a condom.
By the way a condom makes safe both partner sex and solo play. Do you know that a condom is required for both partner sex and play with sex toys?
In fact, adult toys can infect you with a sexually transmitted disease if you share it with a partner. Use condoms for toys and change the condom after each use - thus you will avoid getting infected. What is more, a condom will help you to make cleaning of your adult toy easier - just take off the condom and rinse the adult toy with water - and it is completely clean. Using condoms for toys is a really good idea for those who like using the same sex toy for anal and vaginal stimulation: thus you will avoid transmission of bacteria from anus to vagina.
Enjoy safe sex and good health!
The answer is evident - sex must be safe. Sex can be really safe if you take measures to avoid pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases.
There are plenty of birth control methods that help to avoid unwanted pregnancy, and there is only one way to avoid unwanted pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases - this is a condom.
By the way a condom makes safe both partner sex and solo play. Do you know that a condom is required for both partner sex and play with sex toys?
In fact, adult toys can infect you with a sexually transmitted disease if you share it with a partner. Use condoms for toys and change the condom after each use - thus you will avoid getting infected. What is more, a condom will help you to make cleaning of your adult toy easier - just take off the condom and rinse the adult toy with water - and it is completely clean. Using condoms for toys is a really good idea for those who like using the same sex toy for anal and vaginal stimulation: thus you will avoid transmission of bacteria from anus to vagina.
Enjoy safe sex and good health!
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
HAVING SEX FOR THE FIRST TIME 2
Having sex for the first time can be a very special experience, but it can also lead to all sorts of complications. Sex without a condom or other form of contraception can result in pregnancy, and if your partner has HIV or a sexually transmitted infection (and you might not always know they do), you can become infected too. There can also be emotional consequences to having sex with someone – it can really change a relationship, and not always for the better. Sex can be enjoyable with the right person, but it’s very easy to make mistakes and end up hurt, which is why people advise you: "don’t have sex until you’re ready!"Of course it's all very well saying this, but how do you know when you’re ready? Legally, you aren’t allowed to have sex with anyone until you’re over the age of consent. But it takes more than just being a legal age to make you ready for sex – you need to be emotionally ready too.We obviously don't know you, so you're the only person who can truly judge if you're ready to have sex. But we can suggest some questions that will hopefully help you to work it out:1) Are you doing this because YOU want to?Or are you thinking about having sex because someone else wants you to? Maybe you’re not sure you’re ready, but your partner is keen? Or perhaps there a bit of ‘peer pressure’ – all your friends seem to be having sex, so you feel you should be too?Do any of the following sound familiar? -“You would if you loved me!”“It’s only natural!”“Everyone else is doing it!”“Don’t you want to make our relationship stronger?”“You’ll have to do it sometime – why not now, with me?”“I'll be gentle, and it'll be really great, I promise!”“I'll only put it in for a second...”If you recognise any of these phrases, then you should think carefully! These are not the right reasons to have sex. A partner who says things like this is probably trying to put pressure on you and might not really care whether you’re ready or not – this person doesn’t respect your feelings, and they’re probably not the right person to have sex with.Nor should you have sex just because your friends are saying things like :“You mean you’ve never done it?!?”“I lost it when I was twelve. . .”“Yeah, I’ve had sex loads of times. . . ”“You’re a virgin, you wouldn’t understand. . . ”“No-one’ll be interested in you if they hear you’re frigid.”“It's amazing - you don't know what you're missing!”It may feel like your friends are all more experienced and knowledgeable, but we guarantee they're probably not! Many of them will only be saying this sort of thing because they think everyone will laugh at them if they admit they’ve never really done anything! Besides, being sexually experienced at a young age doesn’t necessarily make someone mature or sensible - in fact, it usually indicates the opposite.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
HOW TO GET RID OF LOVE HANDLES
Love handles are fat deposits. You get rid of fat through diet and cardiovascular exercise to create a caloric deficit (you burn more calories than you take in). You cannot spot reduce. Getting rid of love handles is just a matter of reducing your total body fat. Cut out high carbohydrate foods and eat a healthy diet. You will be taking in fewer calories this way, and the added calories you burn through exercise will further create a caloric deficit.
The American Heart Association recommends 60-90 minutes of cardiovascular exercise a day, every day, for those seeking fat loss. (At 50-80% of your maximum heart rate). Everyone, normal weight or not, should be exercising for at LEAST 30 minutes a day, most days of the week. By exercising, not only do you burn more calories while you exercise but also you will be burning more calories even when you stop, as your metabolism remains elevated.
In the end, it is a matter of having a constant caloric deficit. It is possible to lose weight through only exercise or only diet, but combining daily exercise and a healthy diet is the most effective way to safely maintain an ideal weight. You will need to maintain these good habits for life in order to keep the weight off.
Here are some other pieces of advice about how to get rid of love handles:
I have found that using a cross trainer, also knows as an elliptical trainer, shifts mine. It is one of those machines that make you look like your cross-country skiing. It really works because you have to do lots of twisting from the waist.
I am an athlete; I play basketball and field hockey. The only way to get rid of love handles is to go on a diet combined with cardiovascular exercise. Such cardio vascular exercises would be brisk walking, bike riding, treadmill, stair master, and even certain dance classes. To tone your body as well so that you will not have any flab, you can do weight training, Pilates, yoga, and crunches. Keep in mind that any exercise you do has to be done correctly, you get what you put in to it. You can also go running or jogging, everyone hates it but it works. If you are too overweight to run or jog, brisk walking for fat loss works very well.
In my experience, I used Suzanne Sommers regimen and I noticed (and others noticed) a slimming of the waist, bottom, and thighs. I recommend this for others.
I am a runner, long-distance cross-country and for a track team. I still deal with the annoying problem of unattractive love handles. I tried exercising and came out with a toned stomach region/6-pack from all the lower waist workouts, but my love handles were still visible. Being not only an athlete but also a runner, it was embarrassing for me to have them. I was determined to get rid of love handles. I found out that the only way to lose them is (the last thing I wanted to do) diet! I had a hard time starting out, but eventually I swapped fatty/sweet foods for healthy, weight-smart foods. Not only did my love handles seem to vanish but also I became more self-confident and my whole body felt better after I ate. Starting out is hard, and it may seem like you fail before you even try, but stick with it and you will get it.
I have lost 40 pounds in a matter of months. I have tried everything. There are no shortcuts. You have to eat right (get rid of the high carbohydrate food, junk food, and sugary foods, and eat lean meats and low carb veggies). Exercise is also the key. Think about it: we are talking love handles here. How much muscle do you think you are actually going to build up under them? We are not talking biceps or quads; we are talking about abdominals and obliques. Exercise AND diet are both key elements in any fat loss program. You cannot have one without the other and expect amazing (and lasting) results. Your exercise regime should consist of both cardio and weight training programs. No, you do not have to bulk up like Arnold to lose the weight. I am talking about weight training not bodybuilding. Weight training has been proven very effective.
I do lots of dance, soccer and swimming. For me to get rid of love handles I do not have to diet. I just do not eat that extra bag of chips, or that pop, and I take out the sugary stuff. The rest is all exercise! Over the summer, I trained for swimming so much that my love handles disappeared and in addition, I got that toned curve that happens when they disappear. For those who say weight training exercise builds muscle and increases metabolism, that is true. Moreover, cardio, my friends, will take off fat like there is no tomorrow. However, you cannot just walk for 5 minutes, you have to get your heart rate up. You also have to watch what you eat. Cut out the high carb junk food. Be sensible.
When I started working-out, I decided that cardio was the best way to achieve a smaller waist. I think I achieved love handles through years of abusive drinking and bad diet. I found that strictly cardio was not the answer for me. Even long cardio sprees before lifting were not an answer. Though, I managed to lose fat everywhere else, I could not get rid of love handles. The best answer I can contribute, and I have seen the most progress from, is a combination of everything already said. Kick all the high carb junk! Slurp down a protein shake instead of Taco Bell. Eat lots of low carb veggies, and only essential low carb fruits, not too much though. Do cardio and weight training. You might also care to try jumping-jacks.
As annoying as this may be, it is all about calories. Keep a journal of EVERYTHING you eat (even gum, or that one tic tac). Figure out the number of calories consumed. Then figure out how many calories you used that day (there are plenty of charts/calculators online to help determine what certain exercises burn). Subtract intake from expenditure for the day. If you have a negative number, congrats, you are losing weight and fat. Also, do not weigh yourself every day. Depending on how well hydrated (water weight) you are at any given time significantly effects your weight.
Hold a small dumb bell to start with or other weight in your left hand, stand straight up and bend sideways to the left letting the weight slide down the side of your left leg. Do 15 - 20 reps if it is comfortable. Switch sides and do the same for the right side. Start with two sets and work your way up to more reps more sets. Don't bend sideways too far though to prevent back injury.
Unfortunately, the above answer about a small dumb bell won't help to get rid of love handles. You cannot spot reduce. You need a healthy diet, with a good amount of cardio workout and weight training. No shortcuts I'm afraid.
I suggest calisthenics. I have a very slim frame but put on fat around my middle like a spare tyre and around my thighs. I bought a video about it and it is the most unbelievable thing I've seen. Along with eating properly, I chose to do the stomach and leg exercises that appear in this tape. The exercises are very simple, and can even be done by people with bad backs. They work the muscle deep, deep within and I swear you see results in a short time.
Another alternative, although drastically more costly, and potentially more dangerous - is liposuction. It can be very effective for those persons working on fat in a stubborn area. In addition, of notable mention for getting rid of love handles are site targeting body wraps. As cellulite, fatty, areas are often prone to accumulating toxins. I got liposuction over 3 years ago and I have yet to see my love handles reappear and its not as if I'm an exercise freak.
I highly recommend Callanetics exercises. Read the reviews at Amazon, the exercises work amazingly fast at tightening up the stomach muscles and erasing love handles.
Cardio exercise, such as brisk walking, and weight training are very beneficial in reducing body fat. By increasing your muscle mass, your body will burn more calories 24 hours per day and not just when you are exercising. Cardio exercise will increase the amount of calories your body uses both during and immediately after exercise.
The American Heart Association recommends 60-90 minutes of cardiovascular exercise a day, every day, for those seeking fat loss. (At 50-80% of your maximum heart rate). Everyone, normal weight or not, should be exercising for at LEAST 30 minutes a day, most days of the week. By exercising, not only do you burn more calories while you exercise but also you will be burning more calories even when you stop, as your metabolism remains elevated.
In the end, it is a matter of having a constant caloric deficit. It is possible to lose weight through only exercise or only diet, but combining daily exercise and a healthy diet is the most effective way to safely maintain an ideal weight. You will need to maintain these good habits for life in order to keep the weight off.
Here are some other pieces of advice about how to get rid of love handles:
I have found that using a cross trainer, also knows as an elliptical trainer, shifts mine. It is one of those machines that make you look like your cross-country skiing. It really works because you have to do lots of twisting from the waist.
I am an athlete; I play basketball and field hockey. The only way to get rid of love handles is to go on a diet combined with cardiovascular exercise. Such cardio vascular exercises would be brisk walking, bike riding, treadmill, stair master, and even certain dance classes. To tone your body as well so that you will not have any flab, you can do weight training, Pilates, yoga, and crunches. Keep in mind that any exercise you do has to be done correctly, you get what you put in to it. You can also go running or jogging, everyone hates it but it works. If you are too overweight to run or jog, brisk walking for fat loss works very well.
In my experience, I used Suzanne Sommers regimen and I noticed (and others noticed) a slimming of the waist, bottom, and thighs. I recommend this for others.
I am a runner, long-distance cross-country and for a track team. I still deal with the annoying problem of unattractive love handles. I tried exercising and came out with a toned stomach region/6-pack from all the lower waist workouts, but my love handles were still visible. Being not only an athlete but also a runner, it was embarrassing for me to have them. I was determined to get rid of love handles. I found out that the only way to lose them is (the last thing I wanted to do) diet! I had a hard time starting out, but eventually I swapped fatty/sweet foods for healthy, weight-smart foods. Not only did my love handles seem to vanish but also I became more self-confident and my whole body felt better after I ate. Starting out is hard, and it may seem like you fail before you even try, but stick with it and you will get it.
I have lost 40 pounds in a matter of months. I have tried everything. There are no shortcuts. You have to eat right (get rid of the high carbohydrate food, junk food, and sugary foods, and eat lean meats and low carb veggies). Exercise is also the key. Think about it: we are talking love handles here. How much muscle do you think you are actually going to build up under them? We are not talking biceps or quads; we are talking about abdominals and obliques. Exercise AND diet are both key elements in any fat loss program. You cannot have one without the other and expect amazing (and lasting) results. Your exercise regime should consist of both cardio and weight training programs. No, you do not have to bulk up like Arnold to lose the weight. I am talking about weight training not bodybuilding. Weight training has been proven very effective.
I do lots of dance, soccer and swimming. For me to get rid of love handles I do not have to diet. I just do not eat that extra bag of chips, or that pop, and I take out the sugary stuff. The rest is all exercise! Over the summer, I trained for swimming so much that my love handles disappeared and in addition, I got that toned curve that happens when they disappear. For those who say weight training exercise builds muscle and increases metabolism, that is true. Moreover, cardio, my friends, will take off fat like there is no tomorrow. However, you cannot just walk for 5 minutes, you have to get your heart rate up. You also have to watch what you eat. Cut out the high carb junk food. Be sensible.
When I started working-out, I decided that cardio was the best way to achieve a smaller waist. I think I achieved love handles through years of abusive drinking and bad diet. I found that strictly cardio was not the answer for me. Even long cardio sprees before lifting were not an answer. Though, I managed to lose fat everywhere else, I could not get rid of love handles. The best answer I can contribute, and I have seen the most progress from, is a combination of everything already said. Kick all the high carb junk! Slurp down a protein shake instead of Taco Bell. Eat lots of low carb veggies, and only essential low carb fruits, not too much though. Do cardio and weight training. You might also care to try jumping-jacks.
As annoying as this may be, it is all about calories. Keep a journal of EVERYTHING you eat (even gum, or that one tic tac). Figure out the number of calories consumed. Then figure out how many calories you used that day (there are plenty of charts/calculators online to help determine what certain exercises burn). Subtract intake from expenditure for the day. If you have a negative number, congrats, you are losing weight and fat. Also, do not weigh yourself every day. Depending on how well hydrated (water weight) you are at any given time significantly effects your weight.
Hold a small dumb bell to start with or other weight in your left hand, stand straight up and bend sideways to the left letting the weight slide down the side of your left leg. Do 15 - 20 reps if it is comfortable. Switch sides and do the same for the right side. Start with two sets and work your way up to more reps more sets. Don't bend sideways too far though to prevent back injury.
Unfortunately, the above answer about a small dumb bell won't help to get rid of love handles. You cannot spot reduce. You need a healthy diet, with a good amount of cardio workout and weight training. No shortcuts I'm afraid.
I suggest calisthenics. I have a very slim frame but put on fat around my middle like a spare tyre and around my thighs. I bought a video about it and it is the most unbelievable thing I've seen. Along with eating properly, I chose to do the stomach and leg exercises that appear in this tape. The exercises are very simple, and can even be done by people with bad backs. They work the muscle deep, deep within and I swear you see results in a short time.
Another alternative, although drastically more costly, and potentially more dangerous - is liposuction. It can be very effective for those persons working on fat in a stubborn area. In addition, of notable mention for getting rid of love handles are site targeting body wraps. As cellulite, fatty, areas are often prone to accumulating toxins. I got liposuction over 3 years ago and I have yet to see my love handles reappear and its not as if I'm an exercise freak.
I highly recommend Callanetics exercises. Read the reviews at Amazon, the exercises work amazingly fast at tightening up the stomach muscles and erasing love handles.
Cardio exercise, such as brisk walking, and weight training are very beneficial in reducing body fat. By increasing your muscle mass, your body will burn more calories 24 hours per day and not just when you are exercising. Cardio exercise will increase the amount of calories your body uses both during and immediately after exercise.
HAVING SEX FOR THE FIRT TIME
Having sex for the first time can be a very special experience, but it can also lead to all sorts of complications. Sex without a condom or other form of contraception can result in pregnancy, and if your partner has HIV or a sexually transmitted infection (and you might not always know they do), you can become infected too. There can also be emotional consequences to having sex with someone – it can really change a relationship, and not always for the better. Sex can be enjoyable with the right person, but it’s very easy to make mistakes and end up hurt, which is why people advise you: "don’t have sex until you’re ready!"
Of course it's all very well saying this, but how do you know when you’re ready? Legally, you aren’t allowed to have sex with anyone until you’re over the age of consent. But it takes more than just being a legal age to make you ready for sex – you need to be emotionally ready too.
We obviously don't know you, so you're the only person who can truly judge if you're ready to have sex. But we can suggest some questions that will hopefully help you to work it out:
1) Are you doing this because YOU want to?
Or are you thinking about having sex because someone else wants you to? Maybe you’re not sure you’re ready, but your partner is keen? Or perhaps there a bit of ‘peer pressure’ – all your friends seem to be having sex, so you feel you should be too?
Do any of the following sound familiar? -
“You would if you loved me!”
“It’s only natural!”
“Everyone else is doing it!”
“Don’t you want to make our relationship stronger?”
“You’ll have to do it sometime – why not now, with me?”
“I'll be gentle, and it'll be really great, I promise!”
“I'll only put it in for a second...”
If you recognise any of these phrases, then you should think carefully! These are not the right reasons to have sex. A partner who says things like this is probably trying to put pressure on you and might not really care whether you’re ready or not – this person doesn’t respect your feelings, and they’re probably not the right person to have sex with.
Nor should you have sex just because your friends are saying things like :
“You mean you’ve never done it?!?”
“I lost it when I was twelve. . .”
“Yeah, I’ve had sex loads of times. . . ”
“You’re a virgin, you wouldn’t understand. . . ”
“No-one’ll be interested in you if they hear you’re frigid.”
“It's amazing - you don't know what you're missing!”
It may feel like your friends are all more experienced and knowledgeable, but we guarantee they're probably not! Many of them will only be saying this sort of thing because they think everyone will laugh at them if they admit they’ve never really done anything! Besides, being sexually experienced at a young age doesn’t necessarily make someone mature or sensible - in fact, it usually indicates the opposite.
2) Do I know my partner well enough?
If you’ve only just met your partner, haven’t been going out with them very long, or perhaps don’t even really know them, then sex is never going to be a really good experience because there won't be much trust between you. If you've never even kissed the person you're with, then you're definitely not ready to have sex with them!
Sex can leave you feeling very vulnerable afterwards in a way you might not be prepared for, so it’s better to be with someone that you know is likely to be sticking around. Usually, you’ll have better sex with someone you know really well, are comfortable with, and who you can talk to openly about relationships and feelings. Sex will be best with someone you love.
3) Is it legal?
The age of consent differs between countries. In most states of the U.S, for instance, it ranges between 16 and 18. In the UK and India it's 16. In Spain, it's 13 while in some Muslim countries, sex is illegal unless you're married. Have a look at our age of consent page to find out exactly what it is where you live.
So why do countries have a legal age for having sex? Because this is the age when the government believes young people are mature enough to handle the responsibilities that come with having sex. All too often people think they are ready when they’re not. Age of consent laws are also designed to prevent older people from taking advantage of children and young teenagers who may not understand the consequences of having sex, or even what sex is.
4) Do I feel comfortable enough with my partner to do this, and to do it sober?
It’s natural to feel a little embarrassed and awkward the first time you have sex with someone because it’s not something you’ve ever done before. Your boyfriend or girlfriend will probably feel the same. But if you don’t trust your partner enough not to laugh at you or you don’t feel you can tell them you’ve never had sex before, then it’s far better to wait until you can.
And if you think you’ll have to drink a lot of alcohol before you do it so you feel relaxed enough, or you only find yourself thinking about having sex when you’re drunk, then that suggests you’re not ready. A lot of people lose their virginity when they’re drunk or on drugs, and then regret it. So if you’re worried that you’re going to be in a situation where you might be tempted to do something you wouldn’t do normally, restrict your drinking, keep off the drugs, or make sure you stick with a sober friend who can look after you! Have a look at our drink, drugs and sex page for more information.
5) Do I know enough about sex?
Do you know what happens during sex? Do you know how it works, what it's for and how and why a woman can get pregnant? Do you know about sexually transmitted infections? Lots of people worry that they’re going to make a fool of themselves or do something wrong. Well, you shouldn’t have to worry if you’re with a partner who cares about you - (s)he won’t laugh. And if you’re not with a partner who cares, you probably shouldn’t be doing it! Physically, sex is actually quite simple, but the more you know, the more comfortable you’ll feel. Have a look at our teens’ pages for more information.
6) Will I be glad when I’m older that I lost my virginity at the age I am now?
Imagine that you’re looking back at yourself in ten years time. What do you think you’ll think then about how and when you lost your virginity? Is there any way in which you might regret it? The answer should be ‘no’ – if it’s not, you’re probably not yet ready for sex.
7) Can I talk to my partner about this easily?
If you can’t talk about sex, then you’re not ready to have sex. It’s as simple as that. Being honest about how you’re feeling will make it easier for both of you, and will make sex better in the future.
8) Do I know how to have sex safely?
It’s really important that you know how to protect against pregnancy, STIs and HIV. Again, this is something you need to talk to your boyfriend or girlfriend about before the event, so you’re both okay about what you’re going to use. Have a look on our teens’ contraception options page for more details.
Especially with things like condoms, it’s good to have a bit of practise putting them on, and to feel okay about doing it – it’s not enough just to get a condom if you’re not confident enough to use it – they’re no good if they stay in your pocket the whole time!
9) Do we both want to do this?
You may decide that you are ready to have sex, but it might be that your partner isn’t, even if they have had sexual partners before. For sex to work, you both have to be willing to do it. Don’t ever pressure anyone to have sex if they’re not sure – this is very wrong, and it’ll cost you your partner’s respect and the respect of other people.
Also - there’s a fine line between pressuring someone to have sex and forcing someone to have sex – if you put too much pressure on someone, it can become force – and if you force someone into sex, you can be prosecuted for rape.
10) Does sex fit in with my/their personal beliefs?
It may be that you, your partner or your family have beliefs that say sex at a young age (or before marriage) is wrong. Do you feel comfortable going against these views? Will it cause you unnecessary worry and guilt if you do (or frustration and heartbreak if you don’t!)? Some young people will have sex simply because their family has banned them from doing so, even if they don't realise that this is the reason. Having sex as an act of rebellion may feel great at the time, but if anything goes wrong, you face a very difficult situation, as you may not be able to rely on your family's support.
Even if everything goes well, keeping sex (and all the emotions that go with it) a secret can be very hard – so, if possible, you should make sure you have someone else to talk to that you can trust to keep it to themselves. But remember, the decision to have sex should be an agreement between you and your partner, and while other people may help or influence your decision, they shouldn’t make it for you.
So, how did you do? If you answered “Yes!” to all ten of these questions, then you’re probably pretty much ready, as long as BOTH of you feel okay about it.
If you didn’t, then there’re probably some issues you need to work through first, because all of these questions are important.
First time sex is always going to be scary whatever age you are when you have it. It can sometimes seem like losing your virginity is the most important thing in the world. But you can’t get your virginity back once it's gone, so what is really important is that you have enough respect for yourself to wait until you’re truly ready, and can truly trust the person you’re with.
Good luck, have fun, and stay safe!
Of course it's all very well saying this, but how do you know when you’re ready? Legally, you aren’t allowed to have sex with anyone until you’re over the age of consent. But it takes more than just being a legal age to make you ready for sex – you need to be emotionally ready too.
We obviously don't know you, so you're the only person who can truly judge if you're ready to have sex. But we can suggest some questions that will hopefully help you to work it out:
1) Are you doing this because YOU want to?
Or are you thinking about having sex because someone else wants you to? Maybe you’re not sure you’re ready, but your partner is keen? Or perhaps there a bit of ‘peer pressure’ – all your friends seem to be having sex, so you feel you should be too?
Do any of the following sound familiar? -
“You would if you loved me!”
“It’s only natural!”
“Everyone else is doing it!”
“Don’t you want to make our relationship stronger?”
“You’ll have to do it sometime – why not now, with me?”
“I'll be gentle, and it'll be really great, I promise!”
“I'll only put it in for a second...”
If you recognise any of these phrases, then you should think carefully! These are not the right reasons to have sex. A partner who says things like this is probably trying to put pressure on you and might not really care whether you’re ready or not – this person doesn’t respect your feelings, and they’re probably not the right person to have sex with.
Nor should you have sex just because your friends are saying things like :
“You mean you’ve never done it?!?”
“I lost it when I was twelve. . .”
“Yeah, I’ve had sex loads of times. . . ”
“You’re a virgin, you wouldn’t understand. . . ”
“No-one’ll be interested in you if they hear you’re frigid.”
“It's amazing - you don't know what you're missing!”
It may feel like your friends are all more experienced and knowledgeable, but we guarantee they're probably not! Many of them will only be saying this sort of thing because they think everyone will laugh at them if they admit they’ve never really done anything! Besides, being sexually experienced at a young age doesn’t necessarily make someone mature or sensible - in fact, it usually indicates the opposite.
2) Do I know my partner well enough?
If you’ve only just met your partner, haven’t been going out with them very long, or perhaps don’t even really know them, then sex is never going to be a really good experience because there won't be much trust between you. If you've never even kissed the person you're with, then you're definitely not ready to have sex with them!
Sex can leave you feeling very vulnerable afterwards in a way you might not be prepared for, so it’s better to be with someone that you know is likely to be sticking around. Usually, you’ll have better sex with someone you know really well, are comfortable with, and who you can talk to openly about relationships and feelings. Sex will be best with someone you love.
3) Is it legal?
The age of consent differs between countries. In most states of the U.S, for instance, it ranges between 16 and 18. In the UK and India it's 16. In Spain, it's 13 while in some Muslim countries, sex is illegal unless you're married. Have a look at our age of consent page to find out exactly what it is where you live.
So why do countries have a legal age for having sex? Because this is the age when the government believes young people are mature enough to handle the responsibilities that come with having sex. All too often people think they are ready when they’re not. Age of consent laws are also designed to prevent older people from taking advantage of children and young teenagers who may not understand the consequences of having sex, or even what sex is.
4) Do I feel comfortable enough with my partner to do this, and to do it sober?
It’s natural to feel a little embarrassed and awkward the first time you have sex with someone because it’s not something you’ve ever done before. Your boyfriend or girlfriend will probably feel the same. But if you don’t trust your partner enough not to laugh at you or you don’t feel you can tell them you’ve never had sex before, then it’s far better to wait until you can.
And if you think you’ll have to drink a lot of alcohol before you do it so you feel relaxed enough, or you only find yourself thinking about having sex when you’re drunk, then that suggests you’re not ready. A lot of people lose their virginity when they’re drunk or on drugs, and then regret it. So if you’re worried that you’re going to be in a situation where you might be tempted to do something you wouldn’t do normally, restrict your drinking, keep off the drugs, or make sure you stick with a sober friend who can look after you! Have a look at our drink, drugs and sex page for more information.
5) Do I know enough about sex?
Do you know what happens during sex? Do you know how it works, what it's for and how and why a woman can get pregnant? Do you know about sexually transmitted infections? Lots of people worry that they’re going to make a fool of themselves or do something wrong. Well, you shouldn’t have to worry if you’re with a partner who cares about you - (s)he won’t laugh. And if you’re not with a partner who cares, you probably shouldn’t be doing it! Physically, sex is actually quite simple, but the more you know, the more comfortable you’ll feel. Have a look at our teens’ pages for more information.
6) Will I be glad when I’m older that I lost my virginity at the age I am now?
Imagine that you’re looking back at yourself in ten years time. What do you think you’ll think then about how and when you lost your virginity? Is there any way in which you might regret it? The answer should be ‘no’ – if it’s not, you’re probably not yet ready for sex.
7) Can I talk to my partner about this easily?
If you can’t talk about sex, then you’re not ready to have sex. It’s as simple as that. Being honest about how you’re feeling will make it easier for both of you, and will make sex better in the future.
8) Do I know how to have sex safely?
It’s really important that you know how to protect against pregnancy, STIs and HIV. Again, this is something you need to talk to your boyfriend or girlfriend about before the event, so you’re both okay about what you’re going to use. Have a look on our teens’ contraception options page for more details.
Especially with things like condoms, it’s good to have a bit of practise putting them on, and to feel okay about doing it – it’s not enough just to get a condom if you’re not confident enough to use it – they’re no good if they stay in your pocket the whole time!
9) Do we both want to do this?
You may decide that you are ready to have sex, but it might be that your partner isn’t, even if they have had sexual partners before. For sex to work, you both have to be willing to do it. Don’t ever pressure anyone to have sex if they’re not sure – this is very wrong, and it’ll cost you your partner’s respect and the respect of other people.
Also - there’s a fine line between pressuring someone to have sex and forcing someone to have sex – if you put too much pressure on someone, it can become force – and if you force someone into sex, you can be prosecuted for rape.
10) Does sex fit in with my/their personal beliefs?
It may be that you, your partner or your family have beliefs that say sex at a young age (or before marriage) is wrong. Do you feel comfortable going against these views? Will it cause you unnecessary worry and guilt if you do (or frustration and heartbreak if you don’t!)? Some young people will have sex simply because their family has banned them from doing so, even if they don't realise that this is the reason. Having sex as an act of rebellion may feel great at the time, but if anything goes wrong, you face a very difficult situation, as you may not be able to rely on your family's support.
Even if everything goes well, keeping sex (and all the emotions that go with it) a secret can be very hard – so, if possible, you should make sure you have someone else to talk to that you can trust to keep it to themselves. But remember, the decision to have sex should be an agreement between you and your partner, and while other people may help or influence your decision, they shouldn’t make it for you.
So, how did you do? If you answered “Yes!” to all ten of these questions, then you’re probably pretty much ready, as long as BOTH of you feel okay about it.
If you didn’t, then there’re probably some issues you need to work through first, because all of these questions are important.
First time sex is always going to be scary whatever age you are when you have it. It can sometimes seem like losing your virginity is the most important thing in the world. But you can’t get your virginity back once it's gone, so what is really important is that you have enough respect for yourself to wait until you’re truly ready, and can truly trust the person you’re with.
Good luck, have fun, and stay safe!
When signs let you know that you’re falling in love
Falling in love with someone is a wonderful, intense experience, but it can also be more than a little confusing to someone who’s never really had any romantic ideas in their head before. Love is an easy thing to define if you’re a wife, husband, boyfriend or girlfriend who has in your life already, but if you’ve never experienced it before, you might have a hard time figuring what the heck is wrong with you. Are you sick? Are you going crazy? Did someone cast a voodoo curse on you?
Well, probably not. The first early symptoms of being in love can mirror illness or mental instability, sure. But once you learn to really enjoy being in love and get used to the idea of having a little old-fashioned romance in your life, you’ll start to appreciate these weird new symptoms you’ve come down with.
So, are you really in love, or just infatuated? People who fall in love for the first time experience hundreds of unique and individual emotions, thoughts and feelings, but there are a few classic symptoms that most lovesick individuals tend to develop. Check out the list below, and if you have three or more of them, you just might . . . gulp! . . . be in love.
Top Ten Ways to Know You’re In Love
1. You’re in love if you think about them all of the time.
Well yah, I didn’t say that everything on this list would be profound or anything. This one is a no-brainer. If you love someone, they’re going to be in your thoughts all the time. In fact, you won’t be able to get them out of your head. Look at the rest of the indicators before coming to a conclusion, though, because this one could also mean that you’re just plain nuts.
2. You’re in love if everything reminds you of them.
Someone asks you to pass the ketchup and it reminds you of them. A flock of geese fly overhead and it reminds you of them. You get the picture. Oh, and for some reason, when you’re in love it seems like every new person you meet or see on TV or hear a story about has the same name as the person you’re in love with. I don’t know why that is, it just happens.
3. You’re in love if you care more about their safety and happiness than you do about your own.
For some weird and inexplicable reason, the whole “looking out for number one” thing you’ve been doing your whole life desolves away and gets replaced by an overwhelming urge to make sure that special person is as safe, comfortable and happy as possible. No, I’m serious. This totally because your number one priority. It’s kind of like getting super powers, in a way; you’d be amazed at what little-old-you is capable of when you’re trying to protect or provide for the one you love.
4. You’re in love if you start caring more about your own appearance.
Suddenly, without warning, you find yourself wanting to actually iron the wrinkled jeans that have been sitting in the dryer for the last three days before you wear them. If you’re about to see that person who you can’t get out of your mind, there suddenly seems to be a whole lot of reflective surfaces around to check yourself out in.
5. You’re in love if you’re actually interested in knowing more about them.
You can forget about the days when you went home from a date remembering absolutely nothing about the interests, career and dreams of the person you went out with. Finding out all about this fantastic person is your new favorite thing to do. If you could find a book detailing every minute detail of their life, you wouldn’t sleep or eat until you read every last paragraph.
6. You’re in love if you want to impress them.
You’ve always tried to be modest, but suddenly you feel like you’re a politician fighting to win the most important election ever in the history of the universe. You make sure that the faded newspaper article about you winning your third-grade spelling bee is left nonchalantly on the coffeetable when they come to visit. And you keep them as far as possible from that great aunt who loves to tell all of the embarrassing stories about you.
7. You’re in love if you aren’t as tight with your money or time anymore.
There was a time when the idea of shelling out your hard-earned money to buy someone dinner or a gift would have horrified you. Sure, you would buy an occasional round for your friends or bring grandma flowers on her birthday, but spending any more money than absolutely necessary just wasn’t going to happen. But now, no price seems too high as long as it makes that special someone happy.
8. You’re in love if hanging out with your friends just isn’t as appealing any more.
Remember when you and your friends made fun of the former buddy who ditched your gang to hang out with their new boyfriend or girlfriend? And when the thought of abandoning your friends to spend time with a member of the opposite sex seemed like sacrelige? Well you can try to deny it all you want, but you’re finding yourself constantly thinking about being with that special someone . . . even when you’re surrounded by your buddies!
9. You’re in love if commitment is actually starting to sound like something you could stand.
What, you commit to something that requires you to be faithful and responsible? Oh, the horror! What strange, evil spell has been cast upon you that would actually make you excited about a long-term relationship or even marriage with someone? Did someone slip something into your drink? Are you going insane? No. You’re probably in love, knucklehead.
10. You’re in love if you just aren’t noticing other members of the opposite sex.
Oh, the people you used to stare at are still there . . . you just aren’t noticing them anymore. For some bizarre reason, that special someone has suddenly become infinitely more attractive to you than any other person on the face of the planet. People who you used to think were good-looking suddenly pale in comparison to the one you’ve found yourself falling in love with.
Falling in love with someone is a wonderful, intense experience, but it can also be more than a little confusing to someone who’s never really had any romantic ideas in their head before. Love is an easy thing to define if you’re a wife, husband, boyfriend or girlfriend who has in your life already, but if you’ve never experienced it before, you might have a hard time figuring what the heck is wrong with you. Are you sick? Are you going crazy? Did someone cast a voodoo curse on you?
Well, probably not. The first early symptoms of being in love can mirror illness or mental instability, sure. But once you learn to really enjoy being in love and get used to the idea of having a little old-fashioned romance in your life, you’ll start to appreciate these weird new symptoms you’ve come down with.
So, are you really in love, or just infatuated? People who fall in love for the first time experience hundreds of unique and individual emotions, thoughts and feelings, but there are a few classic symptoms that most lovesick individuals tend to develop. Check out the list below, and if you have three or more of them, you just might . . . gulp! . . . be in love.
Top Ten Ways to Know You’re In Love
1. You’re in love if you think about them all of the time.
Well yah, I didn’t say that everything on this list would be profound or anything. This one is a no-brainer. If you love someone, they’re going to be in your thoughts all the time. In fact, you won’t be able to get them out of your head. Look at the rest of the indicators before coming to a conclusion, though, because this one could also mean that you’re just plain nuts.
2. You’re in love if everything reminds you of them.
Someone asks you to pass the ketchup and it reminds you of them. A flock of geese fly overhead and it reminds you of them. You get the picture. Oh, and for some reason, when you’re in love it seems like every new person you meet or see on TV or hear a story about has the same name as the person you’re in love with. I don’t know why that is, it just happens.
3. You’re in love if you care more about their safety and happiness than you do about your own.
For some weird and inexplicable reason, the whole “looking out for number one” thing you’ve been doing your whole life desolves away and gets replaced by an overwhelming urge to make sure that special person is as safe, comfortable and happy as possible. No, I’m serious. This totally because your number one priority. It’s kind of like getting super powers, in a way; you’d be amazed at what little-old-you is capable of when you’re trying to protect or provide for the one you love.
4. You’re in love if you start caring more about your own appearance.
Suddenly, without warning, you find yourself wanting to actually iron the wrinkled jeans that have been sitting in the dryer for the last three days before you wear them. If you’re about to see that person who you can’t get out of your mind, there suddenly seems to be a whole lot of reflective surfaces around to check yourself out in.
5. You’re in love if you’re actually interested in knowing more about them.
You can forget about the days when you went home from a date remembering absolutely nothing about the interests, career and dreams of the person you went out with. Finding out all about this fantastic person is your new favorite thing to do. If you could find a book detailing every minute detail of their life, you wouldn’t sleep or eat until you read every last paragraph.
6. You’re in love if you want to impress them.
You’ve always tried to be modest, but suddenly you feel like you’re a politician fighting to win the most important election ever in the history of the universe. You make sure that the faded newspaper article about you winning your third-grade spelling bee is left nonchalantly on the coffeetable when they come to visit. And you keep them as far as possible from that great aunt who loves to tell all of the embarrassing stories about you.
7. You’re in love if you aren’t as tight with your money or time anymore.
There was a time when the idea of shelling out your hard-earned money to buy someone dinner or a gift would have horrified you. Sure, you would buy an occasional round for your friends or bring grandma flowers on her birthday, but spending any more money than absolutely necessary just wasn’t going to happen. But now, no price seems too high as long as it makes that special someone happy.
8. You’re in love if hanging out with your friends just isn’t as appealing any more.
Remember when you and your friends made fun of the former buddy who ditched your gang to hang out with their new boyfriend or girlfriend? And when the thought of abandoning your friends to spend time with a member of the opposite sex seemed like sacrelige? Well you can try to deny it all you want, but you’re finding yourself constantly thinking about being with that special someone . . . even when you’re surrounded by your buddies!
9. You’re in love if commitment is actually starting to sound like something you could stand.
What, you commit to something that requires you to be faithful and responsible? Oh, the horror! What strange, evil spell has been cast upon you that would actually make you excited about a long-term relationship or even marriage with someone? Did someone slip something into your drink? Are you going insane? No. You’re probably in love, knucklehead.
10. You’re in love if you just aren’t noticing other members of the opposite sex.
Oh, the people you used to stare at are still there . . . you just aren’t noticing them anymore. For some bizarre reason, that special someone has suddenly become infinitely more attractive to you than any other person on the face of the planet. People who you used to think were good-looking suddenly pale in comparison to the one you’ve found yourself falling in love with.
Friday, May 15, 2009
10 keys to more passion in relationships and life
Attracting a new partner
Marriage tips
Building more trust
Dating tips
Healing after a break up
Affairs and Infidelity
Improving communication
Divorce
Overcoming jealousy
Romantic ideas
shadow puppets
Inexplicable feelingscapture my soul,
thinking of you.....so heavy on my heart.
Mind spins out of control.
Desires locked deep withinsurface again.....burningShadow puppets are we,
pirouetting upon life's stage.
Changing masksto our heart's content.....indulgingsavoring love in all its stages.
With blind eyes I see youas you take my hand...smiling all the way.
thinking of you.....so heavy on my heart.
Mind spins out of control.
Desires locked deep withinsurface again.....burningShadow puppets are we,
pirouetting upon life's stage.
Changing masksto our heart's content.....indulgingsavoring love in all its stages.
With blind eyes I see youas you take my hand...smiling all the way.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
love poem
I loved you once
I loved you once, long agoWhen my heart was still shiny and brightAnd all that I needed in this whole wide worldwere your arms wrapped around me at nightI loved you once, long agowhen my eyes could see only youand my common sense was disregardedas fear of something newI loved you once, long agoand thought your anger a manly traitbut now I am beaten down by your wordsand tantrums and cursing and hateI loved you once, long agoI guess part of me always willBut I'm dying inside and blindly afraidthat the child in me will be killedby your words and your meanness and unchecked rageand your inability to act your agehas got me feeling like a fool for ever falling in love with youYes, I loved you once, long agoA part of me always willbut the most surprising thing to meis that I love you still.
I loved you once, long agoWhen my heart was still shiny and brightAnd all that I needed in this whole wide worldwere your arms wrapped around me at nightI loved you once, long agowhen my eyes could see only youand my common sense was disregardedas fear of something newI loved you once, long agoand thought your anger a manly traitbut now I am beaten down by your wordsand tantrums and cursing and hateI loved you once, long agoI guess part of me always willBut I'm dying inside and blindly afraidthat the child in me will be killedby your words and your meanness and unchecked rageand your inability to act your agehas got me feeling like a fool for ever falling in love with youYes, I loved you once, long agoA part of me always willbut the most surprising thing to meis that I love you still.
Monday, April 6, 2009
a adverb
it has no eyes but it can see,it has no nose but it can smell,it has no taste but it can feel.
what is it
what is it
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